I am a new oncology nurse, but I am not new to oncology. My experiences with cancer began in 2011 when my mom was diagnosed it Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. She fought for five years, and gracefully passed away in June 2016.
I sat with a patient today, her, and her tears. I took her hand as she admitted her fear - of her cancer, of her treatment, and of a possible end to it all. I sat with her and I listened; not because I had to, but because I wanted to. Nursing is more than giving medication and hanging fluids. It is more than Strong Stars and excellent reviews. Nursing is a balancing act of empathy, compassion, and sanity. I am an oncology nurse because I want to genuinely impact the lives of individuals through awareness and acceptance of their feelings. I want to impart to others my positive spirit and comforting nature, and I want to respect and appreciate the humility that lies within the burdened walls of my hospital. Nursing is the art of being ready and willing to lend my heart to strangers in need because I recognize the humanity in each and every patient, all the while understanding that in connecting with these individuals, chronically sick and possibly terminal, I am making myself vulnerable. I walked out of that room today, guiding the door shut, careful not to disrupt the calmness we had created, and I said to myself, "You are a good nurse".
Every day as a nurse I have the opportunity to change a life, while at the same time, changing my own. By recognizing and appreciating the diversification in others' personalities, emotions, coping mechanisms, even quirky idiosyncrasies, my perspective is constantly enhancing. As much as this enhancement is beneficial to me, it is even more so to the next, and the next, and the next, patient I encounter. Every day nursing challenges me to understand love, gratitude, and tragedy in a new way.
So I challenge you, no matter what your professional title, try to be a nurse for a day, try to harness the selfless giving, the genuine care, and the raw humanity that is nursing. Strive to each day walk out of that hospital, or that office, or that school, and know that you have comforted someone in their time of need, you have allowed someone relief from their fears, their angers, their sadness, and you have acknowledged these emotions as "okay". And after you've listened, after you've comforted that someone, orient yourself to be their lifeline. With each metastases my mom faced she said, "I get a day, a day where I get to cry and say 'why me', and then tomorrow I'll get back up, and I'll make a plan". In the face of uncertainty and emotional turbulence, allow that one singular day, to feel, to release, and to accept the burdens of humanity. Tomorrow though, come ready to prop their spirit, and their pillows, as you are a ruthless warrior in the face of their disease.
And so, I am a new oncology nurse, still perfecting my assessment skills and sometimes intimidated by my Alaris pump. I work to improve these tactical competencies just as much as I work to understand my patients - their stories, their fears, their joys. As a nurse, I believe it is my duty to love honestly and selflessly every single day because I recognize the incredible gift I have to change a person's life.
So again, I challenge you: go, and be a nurse for the day.