Canvas

Sometimes I forget to breathe.

I open my mouth and a huge gasp comes out as I take in all the air I was missing.

I used to think this was a result of anxiety or internal struggle, and maybe at the time it was. But now, as I sit here on a bench in a city different than my own after exploring unknown streets and enjoying the seamless beauty the world has to offer, I’m starting to think that this gasp results from an extreme indulgence in life.

I hesitate to use the word indulgence because many of us see it in a negative light, to indulge is to engorge, to over consume, it’s gluttony, sometimes almost greedy. This negative connotation though is exactly what needs to be addressed . . .

It’s as easy to live in a box as it is to breathe. We go to work, come home to the dog, eat dinner in front of the tv, and repeat the next day. We enjoy life, we appreciate it. Something happens though when you expand those boundaries, when you decide to break routine and hold your breath. Rather than simply appreciating life, you begin to love life. Your world that was once seen as mapped out and predictable suddenly turns into a blank canvas that is yours to create on.

When my mom passed away I lost a lot.

For a while I was a shell, I lost many of my motivations and desires. The scariest part about that time was how aware I was of my changing, and how terrified I was of who I was becoming. So I made a promise to myself and my mom: I will live a life so full, I said, so that when I meet her again someday in Heaven I will have the most incredible story to tell her. And so, I’ve chosen to indulge in my life, to take chances and stop hesitating; to follow my heart as I find my purpose and fill my canvas.

Sometimes I forget to breathe, and that’s when I know I’m doing it right.

You get one life, just one, that’s all, so before you can talk yourself out of buying that dress, taking that vacation, or eating that cookie, hold your breath and just do.

You are the creator of your world, you have the power and the ability to draw and color and design any way you want. I promise you that when you realize this and integrate it into your @persqective you will find happiness, love, and purpose.

So, why are you holding back?