Tact

Today someone said to me, "It's not like your mom just DIED,

she was dying for five years, so why do you have all this stress now?"

My first instinct was to ask myself, "What did he just say..." I could have went off and defended my condition as well as my moms battle that was lined with hope and optimism rather than five years of depression and dying, but I didn't. Why not? Because he said this statement with the best of intentions, and it reminded me that no one will ever know or understand another person's, including my own, perspective.

From the outside looking in, I'm sure many people think the same exact thing as he thought...

"Cancer is cancer,

terminal cancer is terminal cancer,

people with terminal cancer die.

You knew what was going to happen...",

or something to that effect.

Today proved to me more than ever that no one will ever truly know the intense grieving that I experience on a daily basis; the physiological manifestations and psychological distress will never be understood by another person.

I'm not accusing anyone of taking the situation lightly, but I am reminding you that your words have an incredible impact. The way you speak reflects the way you interpret a situation or a person. I don't expect anyone to "get" my situation, as I said, it is impossible. But I do expect you to interpret it with kindness, consideration, and most importantly, tact.

Don't be arrogant.

Don't be ignorant.

Speak your mind but in good taste and with compassion.

Choose your words carefully - not because you strive to be perfectly tailored, but because you care about the effect they will have on another person. Even when snapchat is active and Instagram is bright, you have absolutely no idea what real life is like for another person.