Coming Alive

It's like we're holding ourselves hostage as we continue to linger on the idea of what we used to be; like we're afraid of confronting what we have become because it's not safe, it's not our norm, it's not within our comfort zone - but that doesn't mean that it's wrong.

I said to someone the other day "I've gotten pretty weird in the past couple of months", and when I said it I truly believed it. I've been thinking about it though as I look in the mirror and reflect on who I am and what I've become, and I'm realizing that just because I've change my hair, my makeup, and my style, or because I've started spilling my thoughts and feelings all over the Internet, exposing my vulnerabilities and struggles, doesn't mean that I've gotten "weird" - it means I'm changing and growing as I evolve into a new version of myself. When it comes to my core, I am the exact same person as I was 3 months ago, 3 years ago - nothing has changed about my foundation or my values - if anything, I'm better than I was.

I talk a lot about change in my external environment in regards to the people coming in and out of my life, the places that I call home, or the experiences that shape me, but I rarely reflect on change in terms of myself, I rarely think about the every day changes and evolutions that I will face as I grow up and become an individual.

Uncertainty is around me

& it is WITHIN me.

The fact is that every single day is an opportunity for new people, places, and experiences to teach me about different ways of life. I can live by going through the motions and maintaining constancy as I try to be a prim and proper little angel, or I can listen to my emotions and my heart, I can take risks, and allow my passions to guide my actions. I would so much rather live passionately outside of societal constraints than silently clawing at a cage filled with dismay. So I challenge you to think about the motivation behind your actions - are your behaviors some you endorse, or some that society has imposed upon you and you have subconsciously trained yourself to strive for?

XO