The One about the Perm
- Sep 9, 2016
- 2 min read
I am a dreamer, a pleaser, a perfectionist, an enthusiast, & very impressionable – thus, I am the ultimate flip flopper. I will make a decision, a sure fire 110% decision & then not even 2 hours later, after I overthink it to the extreme and hear the opinions of anyone I’ve told, all bets are off.
Every decision I make, I obsess about making sure it is the “right” decision, the 100% perfect decision.
I think I might be more worried about it being right with the WORLD rather than right for ME. Thinking this way has left me feeling dissatisfied as I am being dragged around by my ever changing thoughts, devil’s advocate friends, & the “should’s” of society. Nothing in life is guaranteed and no decision will ever be 100%. I can sit and intellectualize my decisions, weighing the concrete pros and cons and fixating on certain aspects of people experiences, or I could be introspective and listen to myself and my * feelings *
Why is this so hard though?
Why am I so shy around myself?
Because I don't trust myself.
I don't trust who I am, what I stand for, & what I want.
Wait, What?
Um, No!
Because I don't WANT to trust myself.
Lets backtrack…
I know EXACTLY who I am based on what I’ve been through, I know what I stand as my foundation is rooted in strong values, and I know what I want – curly hair, a solid career, to make a difference, & tall, dark, & handsome. I keep taking 1 step forward & then 3 steps back because I don't remind myself just HOW sure I am of myself & my ability to live as an independent & decisive woman.
I heard this the other day – find your percent – and so I did, 80%...
If I am at least 80% invested & sold on a decision, I should go for it. I can ask another person, or myself “Are you sure?” as many times as I want but the reality is, no one is ever 100% sure of anything. It’s okay to sit with indecision & its okay to take your 80% & a leap of faith because you are willing to take the risks necessary to figure out the right path for YOU. So, find your percent, & when you feel that pull, that attraction, those emotions that tell you that you just might be in the right place, recognize it & trust in it. The only “right decision” is the one that you endorse.
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