Accept Awareness

There's awareness, and then there's acceptance.

I can spend my entire day being aware of what's going on around me, of the people I interact with and the actions I'm engaging in, and that allows me to have an immense appreciation for my surroundings and highlights the hidden gems of everyday life. I don't necessarily think there is a "next step", but I do think there is an opportunity for enhancement, and that is through acceptance of the circumstances I become aware of.

I'm aware that things might move slower at home, that sacrifices need to be made, and that I'm not a normal 21 year old, and my mom isn't a normal mom.

But now I'm going to try to accept it.

I accept that this fight is constant and that normalcy has been redefined.

I accept that there are things in life I simply can't control, that nothing is guaranteed, and time is finite.

I've come to accept these things that I've only ever been aware of, and suddenly everything seems lighter. Instead of being trapped inside of my own head, fixated on how things "aren't", I want to cherish how things are. I want to move beyond the anxiety, and constant desire to control what I cannot, and focus on joy. I want to be aware of my blessings and my despairs, and accept them as one.

If I am floating in this cloud of unrealistic thought then how am I moving forward? How am I allowing myself to enjoy life if my thoughts aren't grounded in reality?

Life is hard, circumstances are not favorable, sadness is inevitable - I accept this.

So now, what am I going to do about it?